feeling alright
they said my memory would come back after ECT
it hasn’t really done that
got fired from my job in houston
last april
my boss was waiting for a reason after i took off sick
fuck it
came to north dakota
slowly healed my marriage
stopped taking my meds
worked 3941 hours in 39 weeks
outside through winter
that’s what assholes work in two years
got a good job again, back in texas
getting out of here on monday
hoarded enough meds that i can take them again
all the way until insurance starts again

the most adult thing i’ve ever done
and it still carries an obvious risk
i’m not very good at anything
not as caring or loving as i’d like
not as tender or kind
not creative or practical
bad tempered and petty
insecure and ugly
but i’ll outwork all of you
i have the effort
you better be on my side