.older
bonheur d'�tre triste
did the internet change. i don't know where the feeling of community went. it seems like each step away from diaryland has been less intimate, has had more of an expectation of audience. it used to be that i said things to myself here, and, somehow, a few people found them, and that more or less implied friendship. now i say nothing to my friends on my facebook page. this is a stupid thing for me to talk about.

i kept this diary active between april and december 2001, which is probably only two percent of my lifetime so far but is also a period which has shaped a lot that has happened since, making this place seem very important to me even though it isn't, even though the words have all been permanently erased, even though the people that read them twelve years ago do not know who i am, do not remember what they read, do not remember anything about any of it at all.

nostalgia is gross.